


Something Left To Say

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Apologizing Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Bees, Castiel and Dean Winchester Fight, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Gives Castiel a Mixtape, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Loves The Impala, Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape, Episode: s02e08 Thelma and Louise, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forgiving Castiel (Supernatural), Forgiving Dean Winchester, Gen, Holding Hands, Honey, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Quote: Dude. On my car. He showed up naked covered in bees. (Supernatural), Sappy Ending, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Song: Can't Fight This Feeling (REO Speedwagon), The Impala (Supernatural), or heading back to it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 02:23:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21218996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: Remember when Castiel made Dean a gift basket, complete with skin mags, beer and pie?What if Dean realises how much he screwed things up with Castiel and makes him his version of an apology gift except with honey, Twister, a mixtape and a set of keys?EXCERPT:Cass certainly isn’t making this easy.Dean sees a real reaction though, as Cass turns the mix-tape over in his grasp, glancing at the title.But it still isn’t enough. He clutches the metal inside his pocket; the coldness reciprocating the icy tendrils wrapped around his heart. This is it. If this doesn’t work… Dean doesn’t know what he’ll do.“You said that there is nothing left to say.” His voice isn’t anywhere near as confident as he wants it to be. His fingers slowly draw the metal out. “I want you to come back. Things will be better this time I promise. Sam and I have each other… but it would be so much better if we had you too. Like I said, Cass, you’re family. And sometimes family gets mad at each other – they fight – but they make up too. So please, I’m beggin’.”Dean waits, heart in hand.Cass holds all the power now.





	Something Left To Say

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is spoiler filled for 15x3 The Rupture.
> 
> Read with caution... severe feels ahead.

“You don’t understand.” Dean says, insistent. “I _need_ that cassette tape.”

“Sorry man, we haven’t sold that here since the dark ages.”

Dean growls, resisting an almost overpowering urge to throttle the man. Of course, now – of all times – he ran out of tapes. Screw the world. All the shops were closed, it’s the middle of the night. But he needs it now.

He’d known how much he’d screwed up the moment Cass had looked at him like he’d lost everything. Dean had nothing to say to make it better. Nothing that would negate what he had put his friend through the past weeks. He deserved every angry word that was thrown at him. But now that Cass had had some time to rest… some time away from them. Dean wants him back. He misses him.

“Son of a bitch!” he rests his head on the wheel.

Well, there were still other things he could get.

…

Ugh.

Farmer’s market. There’re so many vegetables that Sam would be in love.

But he isn’t here for Sam. And he certainly isn’t here for vegetables.

“Hi sonny.” The elderly lady calls, “Made it myself. It’s pure; none of that sugar based nonsense.”

Dean nods, “Alright, give me two.”

He coughs up the money without a thought and takes the bottles of amber liquid in his hands. Should he taste it… to see if it’s good enough? What sense does that even make? Dean knows nothing about honey.

As he walks back to the Impala, he remembers the time that Cass had shown up on it, naked, covered in bees.

…

It’s almost morning now, so shops are opening. He feels like a bit of a creep, walking, alone, in a children’s store.

When he finds them he almost breathes a sigh of relief. ‘Sorry!’ and ‘Twister.’

While compiling a list of the only things Cass ever seemed to give a shit about, Dean couldn’t help but remember how Cass had come to him while in that damned hospital, bright eyed and wanting forgiveness. Dean hopes that Cass doesn’t do what he did: knock his apology away.

Dean stops, his fingers hovering over the items. Would the angel even care about any of this? Had Dean pulled and tugged one time too many? There is a massive chance that Cass will just toss it all out, without even looking at it. But no way was that possibility worth not taking the chance at all. Cass would understand. Cass would come back.

…

Sitting in his room under the dim lights he rolls the tape over in his hands. ‘Ten Ways To Say ‘I’m Sorry Cass.’’

Shitty title.

On the nose though.

Now he just needs to find some songs to fill it up. Most of it was just the usual, but Dean couldn’t resist slipping in REO Speedwagon’s ‘Can’t Fight This Feeling.’ Dean had forgotten what he fought for and now he’s willing to literally get on his knees on the floor and beg because he can’t fight his feelings anymore. He wants Cass to come back. It doesn’t feel right without him.

…

He doesn’t answer Dean’s calls and his grace is running low so Dean doesn’t even think he can hear his prayers. So Dean stalks him to the hotel he’s staying it. It’s about eight hours drive. Dean makes it in five. But on the way, something catches his eye. Something stupid… but he’s already taking a chance with this whole gift basket idea. And it’s a gesture – straight out of a chick flick. It doesn’t make a lick of sense either.

But Dean likes the sentiment.

…

He bangs on the door. The basket clutched tightly.

This is a mistake.

Cass can probably sense him at the door. He’s been banging for almost a minute straight.

He stops.

What is he doing?

Standing here, causing a ruckus for a plan that mightn’t even pan out…

He wants to leave.

The door springs open.

Dean’s breath halts. Relief washing over him. He hadn’t seen the angel in over two weeks. Too damn long for his liking. He can’t keep the smile off his face.

Cass, on the other hand, clearly doesn’t share the feeling. “What’s gone wrong now Dean?”

That snaps him out of his stupor, “Hiya Cass.” He tries to ignore how strange it feels to not hear the angel’s baritone voice saying ‘Hello Dean’ in greeting, or the way those blue eyes had been so attuned to him.

He’d ruined that with his unending arrogance.

“Nothing’s wrong.” He forces out, wilting under the angel’s unwavering glare.

He scowls; the lingering sadness hiding behind his anger. “Contrary to popular opinion, I’m well aware of manipulations… even yours Dean.”

Wincing, Dean tries to think of a way to salvage the situation, “I – no – you – ” Dean laughs at himself, cursing his brain for its inability to function when he needs it most. He scrubs a hand over his face in frustration and in thrusts the basket out instead.

Cass’ eyes widen and Dean can see the hope in his eyes; the same hope he’d seen as Cass had given him that last, lingering look before leaving the bunker. He’d been too shocked, too unsure of what he really wanted to stop Cass from leaving last time. He won’t make the same mistake twice.

“Cass.” He clears his throat, “I’m sorry. I’ve been terrible to you. Taken you for granted. They – y’know… you never know what you have till it’s gone.”

The door opens a few feet, allowing Dean inside.

…

Pensively, Dean watches as Cass inspects the honey, turning it over a few times before sticking his finger in to take a lick. He hmms lightly, eyes darting to Dean. Not sure what to make of it, Dean just grips the bed sheets that much tighter.

He moves on to the games next and Dean can’t stand the silence any longer, “I know Sam has an advantage with his long legs but I think we can beat him.” he chuckles lightly.

More silence hails him.

Cass certainly isn’t making this easy.

Dean sees a real reaction though, as Cass flips the mix-tape over in his grasp, glancing at the title.

But it still isn’t enough. He clutches the metal inside his pocket; the coldness reciprocating the icy tendrils wrapped around his heart. This is it. If this doesn’t work… Dean doesn’t know what he’ll do.

“You said that there is nothing left to say.” His voice isn’t anywhere near as confident as he wants it to be. His fingers slowly draw the metal out. “I want you to come back. Things will be better this time I promise. Sam and I have each other… but it would be so much better if we had you too. Like I said, Cass, you’re family. And sometimes family gets mad at each other – they fight – but they make up too. So please, I’m beggin’.”

Cass looks at him, torn.

Dean waits, heart in hand.

Cass holds all the power now.

“Dean…”

He leans forward, his hands almost trembling as he holds out the key ring. It’s chrome and engraved on it is a small bee. It holds spare keys to the bunker, Dean’s bedroom, the Impala and one last thing.

Cass picks at the last key. Dean knows that he recognises the other three. “What’s this one?” he asks.

Dean locks eyes with his friend, “It’s a room at the bunker. A place to stay – if you want it. It’s become your home just as much as ours. If – If you come back, I don’t want you to feel as though you have to leave whenever we have a difference of opinion. You also don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. You won’t be trapped.”

Blue eyes swim with emotion and Dean can feel the ‘yes’ on the tip of his tongue. _Please._

“My powers are still failing.”

“I need you Cass.”

“I’m looking for a way to get Jack back.”

That stumps Dean. He doesn’t know if he can stand the sight of Jack, or ever really forgive him for what he’d done. But time gives perspective… and this isn’t about Jack; it’s about Cass.

“We’ll help you look.” He pleads, “You’re not alone in this. You have Sam. Me.”

The silence that ensues is nothing short of maddening. All throughout, Dean maintains eye contact with the angel throughout.

“I want to come back.” The angel’s face looks almost as broken as the night when he left. “You don’t know how hard it was for me – to have nothing – to have lost everything and learnt that my entire existence was a lie. Then you made me lose you too. You wouldn’t look at me. I wasn’t your friend. You _always_ do this Dean. You call me when you need something and that’s all I’m good for.”

Dean cringes, “That’s just not true.” He wants to say more but his tongue is caught in his throat, “We have a profound bond. You make me laugh, we tell each other our secrets… our doubts… we forgive each other when one of us screws up.”

“I’ve never held any malice towards you Dean.” His voice is sincere; vulnerable. “I was just tired of feeling like a tool or worse, a stranger, to you and Sam.”

“Cass, you are none of those things.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve only ever said this to Sam… and Mom…”

Dean’s will almost buckles under the intense blue stare, “I love you.”

Cass smiles softly then, his shoulders suddenly releasing all their tension, “That’s all I want. I love you Dean.”

“Then come with me, we’ll be like Thelma and Louise, we’ll hold hands and sail off this cliff together.” Dean sticks his hand out. Hoping.

The warmth of Castiel’s hand seeps into Dean’s skin. The angel wears a small, hopeful smile on his face. The kind that makes Dean think back to when times were easier. The kind that makes him want to be better.

“I’ll go with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to write this after that traumatic episode. I know this won't happen, but a girl can dream.
> 
> This is probably the sappiest thing I've ever written. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
